Maia’s Journal

This work chronicles my life from childhood to early adult years. Always writing, I share myself, because it gives me a way to deal with things in my life that makes me happy, sad, mad and motivated to be a better person. I have used art, poetry, essays—just plain, honest statements—to put this world into perspective in the hope that at least one person can identify with me, and feel better for having taken the time to read what I share from my soul.

It’s hard being the mother of a child with Autism—a disorder that really is a hidden challenge. It leaves your child looking normal yet acting abnormal. In a world not so eager to stop and understand that…yes, it is a real problem and it does hurt families in many critical ways.

I live with my son’s Autism and have done so since his birth. It has caused me to feel inadequate as a mom to my two older boys, inadequate as a mom to him because I don’t understand it, and it makes me feel like I‘m always having to overcompensate with our Autistic child and feeling I’m not doing right by the others.

It makes it hard to sit through a day, just being happy—even when nothing is wrong…because Autism means my son may never be able to take care of himself properly, even as an adult.

I think I have it easier than many who live with this disorder, especially living in a developing nation such as Jamaica, but I still have to worry when I send him to a birthday party alone…if he’ll be beaten up or hurt himself because he cannot translate the situation the way a normal child would.

Autism and its daily challenges makes you a more strategic parent if you accept this thing you cannot change and decide to work with the things you can. I don’t understand Autism. I don’t like Autism and I hope someday those who have it will have a way to live with it just like wearing eyeglasses if you have an eye problem; basically—getting the full joy of life despite this thing that has taken over their total existence.